Wednesday, November 08, 2017

When your date has to cancel on you because he has the flu ...

You logically deploy your emergency I-suddenly-don’t-have-a-date contingency plan: Get a flu shot.
Also: get a bright red post-flu-shot souvenir band-aid > take a flexy shoulder selfie to post on Facebook

Also: post a flexy shoulder selfie on Facebook > score yourself a quality boyfriend

Also: stagger through the aisles of Walgreens in crippling, bewildering, post-flu-shot pain with no boyfriend on any radar anywhere anyway > wander innocently past the cookies

Also: discover you have enough Walgreens rewards points for three virtually free packages of Oreos > it’s none of your damn business what I’m having for my dateless dinner tonight

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