Why today is sucking

I spilled yogurt on my shirt when I got to work, so I look kind of clumsy and disheveled today.

Oh, and I left my cell phone on the bus this morning. I had the ringer off so as not to disturb the other bus riders, but also so as not to have any of them hear my phone ring the hundreds of times I’ve called it hoping to find a friendly neighborhood Chicagoan who could help get my phone back to me.

And I don’t even want to think about the hundreds of non-backed-up phone numbers I’ve lost. Or the adorable text messages from the fiancé that I couldn’t bring myself to delete. Ugh.

I figure the phone is lost to the ages, so I called Verizon to at least disable it so bus-riding agents of evil wouldn’t run up exorbitant phone bills calling Dick Cheney. The Verizon operator was very helpful until we got to the part where I asked her if I’d have to pay full price for a replacement phone or if I’d get some sort of existing-customer discount. She blabbered out three corporate-speak answers involving plan names and code numbers and all kinds of other stuff that I as a consumer was guaranteed not to understand before I finally had to put it as simply as possible: If I go to a Verizon store today and get a new phone, will I have to pay full price—yes or no? Unfortunately, she was still incapable of providing an answer. Though I suspect her confusion translated to yes.

On the suddenly bright side, my phone battery is so crappy it doesn’t hold a charge for more than a day, so by sundown nobody will be able to read my mushy text messages or access my dear friend Paris Hilton’s number and interrupt her busy life with meaningless chatter. So there’s that.

And when I get a new phone, maybe it will have a better camera in it so the photos I post here won’t look like they were taken by an astigmatic squirrel. So it looks like you-all owe me a big thank-you for being so irresponsible.