The chorus show.
No fuckups. Two standing ovations. Some shameless backstage flirting with one of our adorable new members. It all adds up to a good time.
The expanding blogosphere.
Fellow chorus member Rick now has a blog. Give him a visit. Make him feel welcome. (But not like you're a horny chorus boy and he's a visiting German. It's been done.)
I recently installed a bathroom faucet made by your company. I'm a fairly competent plumber, with lots of successful DIY experience and two rolls of plumber's tape in my toolbox. So I know what I'm doing. And I know that replacing a simple faucet -- especially when you have all the right tools at hand -- should take 30 minutes. 45 tops.
I also therefore know you're a bunch of morons whose bad design decisions transformed a quick project into a full-weekend ordeal for me. Who ever heard of a faucet with female water-supply connectors? And how did you determine that the water-supply hoses you included would offer only 3/8" compression fittings? (What about those of us with 1/2" pipes in our walls? Don't we get a voice?) And why -- in a shallow gesture toward standard plumbing sizes -- did you include female-to-male adapters (a medical miracle!) that made the faucet too big to fit through standard holes in standard sinks? WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH?
Even though I now loathe you and all your employees with every fiber of my being, the faucet looks quite handsome in my snappy new bathroom. But only because I had to lug the whole damn thing to my friendly neighborhood Ace Hardware Store -- TWICE -- and have the kindly old proprietor -- who was also quite stymied by your poor design choices -- help me jerry-rig the water-supply elements I needed to get your fucking faucet working properly.
You suck and I hate you.