Friday, July 02, 2004

¿Vamos a cardiar?

Bill is another copywriter at my agency. He's about my size, and our work schedules are roughly in synch, so we've become regular lifting partners every day at lunch.

We've also started discussing our workouts in a secret made-up language. You know, to stay ahead of the competition. It's extremely funny to us, but then so is our ongoing discussion of the guest contestants we'd cast on Celebrity Teabag once we find a network progressive enough to buy into the idea. (We also find poop jokes funny. Invite us to your next party at your own risk.)

So if you're curious, here's our weekly workout schedule, in our ultra-secret language. See if you can crack the code:

Lunes: Abdominamos. We do a whole killer ab/oblique/lower back workout to start the week. It's a great way to help keep our pants hanging nice and low around our boyish hips, and it prevents any embarrassing flabbiness from happening during the week.

Martes: Cardiomos. We also sometimes tack on some quadando and hamstrando.

Miércoles: Chestamos. A whole day devoted to the chest. Because one of us is gay. And still single.

Jueves: Cardiomos una vez mas. I like doing the stairmaster on this day because it offers a good calf and ass workout. And lord knows I need all the ass I can grow.

Viernes: Armamos y shouldemos. It's almost the weekend on Fridays -- and that means we have to pump up the guns if we're going to attract guys. Bill, being heterosexual and married, really doesn't follow my logic. But he's never had to compete for (and with) other gymbunnies in a crowded bar.

Sábado y domingo: Jodemos. If we're lucky.


Anonymous said...

That's adorable. I love making up Spanish verbs. In Spanish II in high school, I needed to get rid of a cup of water, so I asked my teacher, "Puedo ... dumparlo?"


Will said...

Delightful--and a little like Lingua Franca, the wild and non-gramatical soup of words that let sailors from all over the Mediterranean communicate during the middle ages. Bet they all had their guns pumped for the weekend, too!