Why am I in an electric chair?

A. I ran out of gas for my gas-powered chair.
B. I wore white before Memorial Day.
C. I’m not. I’m just getting my hair did.
D. NOT. GEELTEE.
E. It’s more comfortable than the nuclear chair.
F. IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO END THIS 12-DAY HEADACHE.
G. You’ll have to come to Ripcord at Theatre Cedar Rapids and find out for yourself now, won’t you?