Seven days of staring at my increasingly saggy, almost-51-year-old moobs in the hotel-bathroom mirror is MORE than enough for a man my age to endure

so for the first time in a week I’m back at the gym with a fresh dose of C4 Ripped Sport Explosive Energy & Cutting Formula pre-workout coursing through my veins and itching under my preternaturally sweaty skin and I have only two days to look like a 25-year-old supermodel so LET’S DO THIS.