Sometimes you need to purge 150+ shirts from your bloated collection to stumble on some long-forgotten favorites

And then write referential poetry about them:

I purged my shirts, said Hoarder Jake,
Clear-cutting outfits in my wake.
A striped one here, a solid there,
Pink ones that match my underwear.

Deforestation of my shirts
Hits the clutter where it hurts,
But makes a clever metaphor
For Dr. Seuss’s Lorax lore.

I am the Onceler of my clothes,
And in eliminating those
That fill my boxes, shelves and drawers
I find the ones I want to wores.