Scenes from a gay man's day at the office.

One.
S., the attractive blond who doesn't always dress to flatter her figure, is wearing a blouse that looks great on her boobs today. I tell her. She beams with pleasure.

Two.
K., who is planning a wedding in another state, complains about a legal double standard: Women have to undergo a battery of blood tests to get a license in that state while men don't have to do anything but ask for one. "Don't even get me started on the patriarchal double standards that legislate discrimination in marriage," I tell her. D., who has been here only a week and who has yet to voice any sociopolitical opinions, looks decidedly uncomfortable that there's a goddamn homosexual in the room -- and that he's unafraid to speak his mind.

Three.
J., the new (ostensibly heterosexual) copywriter and arguably the hottest guy in the office (which isn't saying much), always sneaks a peek in my office when he walks by. Nobody else ever sneaks a peek, and hundreds of people walk by my door each day. It kind of turns me on.