Twenty years ago we talked about which clubs to go to, celebrated six-month-iversaries with our new boyfriends, and shopped the clearance pages of the International Male catalog for super-cute wrap shorts and terry jumpers that we could afford on our fledgling-career incomes. This weekend we celebrated double-digit anniversaries, talked about our growing invisibility both socially and professionally, used grownup words like “escrow” and “lumbar region,” and wondered how we all suddenly found ourselves hovering around the 50-year range. Here are just a few of the health and old-man problems we discussed about our lives in the last 36 hours:
- Bipolar disorder
- Falling asleep on the couch at 8 pm
- Sharing little-known AARP discounts
- Not being able to bend over to tie our shoes
- Hearing aids
- Having to pass around a jar of salsa until one of us could finally open it
- Not being able to eat the salsa because our stomachs are having a difficult time tolerating spiciness lately
- Forgetting to write down all the good drag names we think of
- Worrying that some of the drag names we think of are perhaps too racy and inappropriate to post on Facebook
- A collective growing fear of hobos peeking in our bedroom windows
- Lamenting over the Trivago guy’s wasted heterosexuality
- Getting Xanax and statin pills mixed up because they look the same
- Realizing we all know who Lola Falana is
- No wifi
- Constipation
- Marc thinks “Boys in the Band” is a good movie
- Remembering Gary’s old boyfriend’s name
- Cancer
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