Any Bleach will Do. No, wait! One Blond Angel in Heaven. No, wait! Bleach Every Hair on Me. No, wait! Girl, Girl, Girl, Blond Guy. No, wait! Those Flaxen Days. No, wait! Jake's a Megablond.
Rats. I mean goats.
I just wish there were a clever way I could encapsulate my 20-year-old bleach experiment and my concurrent transcendent experience playing the oldest brother (because I was the oldest guy playing a brother) in Theatre Cedar Rapids' transcendent 1999 production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technical Dreamcoat" with these three lovely, talented ladies and a cast of about 750 other lovely, talented people. And one technicolor coat. And one dead bloody goat. And one promotional photo of the dancing brothers that spent a lengthy amount of time holding court in one of those temporarily-captive-audience advertising signs above a urinal at a restaurant across the street from the theater.
Because apparently you have to close every door to pee because any pee will do when you're inspired to go, go, go and then buy tickets to Joseph at Theatre Cedar Rapids in 1999.
But apparently there's just no concise way to tell you that.