I’m growing a pornstache for a costume party on Saturday. This is me with five days’ growth of pre-stache scraggle:
I’ll be in Canada most of this week filming an industrial video for a client. I don’t want to be the Creepy Advertising Vendor With A Wispy Pornstache while I’m there, so I’m growing out a full beard all week and then mowing it down right before the party. I’ve never grown a traditional pornstache before—I grew a regular mustache for a show 15 years ago and I look like a recidivist child molester whenever I stumble on the photographic evidence in my scrapbooks—so I don’t know yet if I have the requisite growth patterns on my face to make it happen. It looks so far like I might have some bald-spot issues on the front of my chin, but we won’t know for sure until Saturday when I haul out the clippers and start landscaping.
Since I’ll be on the road with spotty Internet access this week, I figured out how to post Pornstache Project updates on here from my cell phone. (Do you see how dedicated I am to you people? You’re welcome.) So you can follow along in what looks to be a very itchy week for me.
And since the hosts of the party read my blog and I don’t want them to know what I’m going as until I make my grand entrance, I’m afraid I can’t reveal my kick-ass costume idea just yet. But rest assured (Mom) it’s not anything related to actual pornography. Though it is totally related to the always-flattering world of pornstachery!