Thursday, June 25, 2009

I got screwed!

But not in the inappropriate-to-blog-about way. My cordless screwdriver—which has enough torque to turn a stalwart "family values" Republican like Mark Sanford into an international-mistress-screwing-while-the-kids-are-home-alone-on-Father's-Day adulterer—slipped out of its screw (if you know what I mean) and practically severed an artery while I was installing our new shower curtain rod last night. If you're into grisly pictures of death, read on:

But! I did finally get to use my new quarter-inch masonry bit to drill holes in the shower tile. And that baby can ream some impressive tile holes. If you know what I mean.

I also finally took the toilet out of the tub and re-installed it over its designated floor hole. Which means I got to enjoy the occasionally-in-a-lifetime experience of squishing a toilet down on a fresh wax ring. And in this case I'm gonna bet most of you don't know what I mean. And I feel sorry for you, because peeling the wrapper off a wax ring—the softish, malleable gasket that keeps used toilet water going straight to the sewer without seeping onto your floor—and then using your bodyweight to squish the toilet down on it to create a watertight seal is one of the most satisfying things you can do with your butt. If you know what I mean.

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