Sundayclothes Seersucker Selfie!

Thank you, five! Even though we’re all TENS.

We’re badger hot in our Michael Jordon hats!

And I’m vagueblogging some Full Monty inside jokes!

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO SEE US WEAR THESE BLACK NECKTIES AND RED FOUNDATION GARMENTS

The show’s at 2:30. I promise you’ll love the way these ties look on us.

The dimple in my tie is totally on point tonight and I don’t want to ruin it so I won’t be doing any stripping

Also: Have you met my lovely stage wife? Shhh—don’t tell her I’m a feral jungle-beast stripper. I have a rep to protect.

This is the Evil Dressing Room Holy Shit I Look Fat Mirror, which has nothing to do with irrelevant sugary snacks or drinks that may or may not sit resplendent in their spectrums of crimson deliciousness on its premises

Never look at this mirror or engage in its childish, manipulative games.

Would you describe the silhouette of this tie as scalloped, contoured or hourglass?

Or would you just politely not describe it?