What’s my favorite muscle group to work in the gym solely because it’s so fun to say?

Rhomboids!

What’s my least favorite muscle group to work in the gym because my rhomboids are so chronically weak that I always have to use the Barbie(R) You WISH You Had Rhomboids, Punk!TM Dream Weights(R)?

Rhomboids!

What’s your muscle-group vocabulary lesson of the day?

Gastrocnemius!

(Trick question! I’m actually secretly thinking about the pancreas so today’s vocabulary lesson is the islets of Langerhans! But here’s a picture of the rhomboids just because rhomboids is so fun to say.)

I am squatting rather indecorously in my driveway as I type this in preparation for my second three-mile run in three weeks

That’s why the curvy venty thingie behind me seems so far above my head. Or I’m just not wearing my 4 1/4" Balenciaga stilettos. WHICH IS IT?

Fun fact: The muscles on the insides of your legs—the very ones I’m stretching as I awkwardly type this—that pull your legs toward your body are collectively called adductors. The muscles on the outsides of your legs that pull them away from your body are collectively called abductors. ADDuctors ADD your legs to your body; ABductors ABDUCT your legs from your body.

There. Now that’s something you know. You can also infer—though I’m really not in any way implying this—that my running posse isn’t able to join me today so I have nobody holding me accountable to start my three-mile run, which technically started 54 minutes ago.

Let me tell you about that time I sat and watched paint dry ...

#WeirdStuffICollectOnMyPhone

ROM boyds

What’s my favorite muscle group to work in the gym solely because it’s so fun to say?

Rhomboids!

What’s my least favorite muscle group to work in the gym because my rhomboids are so chronically weak that I always have to use the Barbie(R) You WISH You Had Rhomboids, Punk!TM Dream Weights(R)?

Rhomboids!

What’s your muscle-group vocabulary lesson of the day?

Gastrocnemius!

(Trick question! I’m actually secretly thinking about the pancreas so today’s vocabulary lesson is the islets of Langerhans! But here’s a picture of the rhomboids just because rhomboids is so fun to say.)

Kill me now

It’s not every day you get to say adductor and post pelvic images online—much less have a relevant reason to brag about the amount of weight you just squatted—but I just added 10 pounds to my squat weight—I’m up to 215, baby!—and in the middle of my third set I felt a sharp pop in my left rear adductor that all but sent me toppling to the floor. (And if you’re a man who’s ever had an adductor injury, you know that its close physical proximity to your kill-me-now pain zone means that its crippling pain instantly radiates directly to your kill-me-now pain zone, which can literally make you beg to be killed now. Kill me now.)

So until you kill me now, I’m now gingerly hobbling—and lord-knows-how popping the clutch as I drive—through the rest of my evening until I decide how serious this injury—which is not uncommon for me but never at this intensity—is. I apologize in advance for any near-future lateness.

Fun bio-vocabulary fact: An aDductor is a muscle whose contraction moves a limb or other part of the body TOWARD the midline of the body while an aBductor is a muscle whose contraction moves a limb or part AWAY from the midline of the body. Abductor has the same etymology as the concept of abducting a person by taking him or her away from something. Kill me now.