And we never even took our camera out of its cute little camera bag for the whole week. But! Our friends totally took thousands of pictures on the cruise. And since our camera totally sucks and their cameras totally rock, our laziness totally paid off. So I'll be posting their pictures on my blog.
Just as soon as they find the time to upload them to some kind of site where I can download them to my hard drive and repost them here. So you're gonna have to wait.
It's also late and I'm too tired to write about all our adventures right now. But! I still have some pictures to show you.
You see, the Royal Caribbean Freedom of the Seas has this FlowRider thing, which one comedienne on the ship said was a name better suited to a lesbian form of entertainment than a general gay form of entertainment. But I'm just gonna leave that comment alone. The FlowRider is actually a surfing simulator that shoots a sheet of water up a 45° incline with intense force. And if you suck at surfing on it—like I do—it's fun just to wipe out and have the water shoot your limp, helpless body up the incline.
This being Royal Caribbean, there are photographers everywhere who take unflattering pictures of you doing everything from dining to sunning yourself to pretending to surf. And since these pictures are available for purchase at laughingly high prices, I usually just smile for the cameras and walk away. Unfortunately, I happened to see the pictures they took of me on the FlowRider, and one of them makes my dainty little shoulders look totally huge. So I had to buy it. And before I tuck it in a photo album and never look at it again, I thought I should scan it to post here to justify the fact that I spent the equivalent of a week's groceries on it:
It took about seven wipeouts before I was able to loosen my death grip on the boogie board and attain some semblance of verticality. So I'm posting a second week's groceries worth of proof that—even at 39—I still have my sense of balance. If not my dignity. Or my suntan:
Come back soon for all the pictures that didn't cost me a thing and the details of the itchy sunburn I eventually developed and the stories of the famous person we saw drunk off her ass on the ship!