There is no easier way to set yourself up for documentable failure than to post a list of new year’s resolutions on your blog. When I compare my 2006 goals with my actual 2006 accomplishments, though, I don’t come off as much of an achiever. Then again, I’m not Dubya, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Rush Limbaugh, Mark Foley, Tom DeLay, Ted Haggard, Paul Barnes, Rick Santorum or Mel Gibson. Or Britney Spears. So I still feel like a winner.
In any case, here are my 2006 resolutions, followed by relevant quotes from the news reports, police blotters and gossip rags that document their ignoble outcomes:
Take a tap class with some regularity. I took one class in 2006. On Valentine’s Day. Right after doing a massive leg workout. And I was pretty rusty. So the class wasn’t one for the record books. Or the photo albums. But I choreographed a tap number for the chorus Christmas show, so by some definitions I taught a tap class. Does that count?
Practice the piano more / learn a new piano piece from scratch. Oh, my goodness! Is that Brad Pitt over there?
Read ten books. Um … I got three-tenths of the way there:
• American Gothic: A Life of America’s Most Famous Painting (Steven Biel) Interesting, but I was hoping for more behind-the-proverbial-scenes information, and this book was more of a look at the sociological impact of the painting on the American Zeitgeist.
• The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) Great story. Sloppy writing. I actually liked the movie much better, if only because it didn’t contain Brown’s clumsy, adjective-laden descriptions of stuff.
• The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic and Madness at the Fair that Changed America (Erik Larson) I was hoping for more gore and less horticulture, but the book was thoroughly engrossing no matter what it was discussing.
Stop saying it’s 2007. I was shooting out 2007s prematurely at this time last year. I learned to stop, and I’m sure you’ll be relieved to learn I’ve had no trouble transitioning back into 2007 mode this week.
Travel someplace fun. In 2006, I hit Disney World twice, Iowa many times, Indianapolis, a couple Chicago suburbs … and I went on tons of business trips to New York City, the Twin Cities and even Cleveland. And it was all fun.
Decide once and for all if I’m on the right career path. And then follow up on that decision. Wow. THAT problem kind of solved itself this year. (For those of you just joining us, my career path this year went from boredom and frustration to layoffs to unemployment to a new job (in the same industry) that I really, really love.)
Keep shooting for my four-hour marathon goal. Yeah. I’m almost certain that’s Brad Pitt over there.
Find a bigger condo. Check. Now that I’ve survived more than three months of New Construction Purgatory and Bad Developer Smackdown and I’m in the middle of Negligent Property Owner Negotiation, the boyfriend and I should be happily ensconced in our Two Bathroomed One Fireplaced Barbie Dream Condo by the end of January. Please.
Add at least five pounds of muscle to my upper body. Brad! Over here! I saved you a seat! (Move over everyone! Brad Pitt is joining us!)