Phase one: clearing out the clutter
Holy shit, do I have a lot of crap in my house. And the thought of boxing it all up and hauling it to my new Two-Bathroomed Barbie Dream Palace is more than I care to wrap my brain around right now. Because Two-Bathroomed Barbie Dream Palaces are incompatible with clutter.
Besides, my Realtor informs me that less clutter = the illusion of more living space for prospective buyers. What crazy rules will those Realtors think up next? A ban on dead or dying hookers in the bathtub? A ban on dyeing hookers in the bathtub? What happened to my right to have hookers in a range of designer colors?
In any case, I've instituted a new rule: I cannot leave my house without having something in my hands to put in the trash chute or the dumpster behind my building. I get bonus points if I'm on my way to work and I have some old documents in my backpack to feed into the company shredder. Which is so fun to use it functions as its own motivation.
And the more bonus points I win, the more stuff I can buy at the House of Clutter!