It’s not a day at EPCOT without a reunion with some high-school friends

HECK YEAH I took selfies with both medals and my new I DID IT! shirt

I even full-teeth smiled in one because my mom said I need to stop smiling with my mouth closed even though I think my open-mouth smile looks kind of devious and creepy. Hide your children and valuables as you see fit.

MOUSEDAMNIT!

I was all emotionally prepared to just somehow get through today’s run and make it my last—and probably most painful—half marathon ever ... but I FREAKING LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. And I ran the whole thing without stopping (except for water stations, which all runners get a pass on because running + drinking = spilling + wearing)—which is so huge to me that I’d maybe get choked up and cry if I had any moisture left in me.

SO PUT A 2020 GROUP DISNEY HALF MARATHON ON YOUR CALENDARS AND IN YOUR BUDGETS, RUNNER PEEPS. BECAUSE WE’RE GONNA ROCK IT TOGETHER! AND I’M NOT MOUSING AROUND.

Also: I have pictures! And funny things to post here that I thought up while I was running because what the hell else do you do for three hours with no distractions except the crap in your head? But I need a shower first. And 13.1 shovelfuls of food. And maybe a nap. I’m not sure yet whether or not I’ll post-race crash or post-race bounce off the walls. Stay tuned ...

I’m in my start corral!

We provide our estimated finishing times when we register for the race, which groups us with similar-paced runners into lettered starting corrals. The corrals for this race are lettered A through H for Afastest to Hslowest. I’m F for Fnoteveninthetophalf:

I haven’t heard a total runner number, but the group in front of me just in my starting corral is ENORMOUS:

Cool surprise: Jeff Galloway is on the stage chatting with the pre-race announcers as I type this. His Galloway Training Method propelled me through all four AIDS Marathons I ran in Chicago. And they introduced him by saying he’s run all 25 Disney marathons. Plus they just introduced some people who’ve run 100+ Disney races. The vibe here is SO COOL.

Except ... it just started raining. We have our work cut out for us.

The starting-line fireworks are in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

The last time I’ll pin a racing bib to my Summer Of Running Away From Being 50 shirt*

The last half marathon I’ll probably ever run, unless I have a tidal change of heart—and knee pain. Hopefully the last time I’ll compulsively eat like I’m running 20+ miles a week.

4:00 am alarm.

4:30 am bus.

5:30 am gun.

13.1 miles.

LET’S. MAKE. THIS. HAPPEN.

*Plastic “Wishing Star” not included in race. It was a little souvenir given to me for no discernible reason at our Cinderella’s Castle dinner. I put it in this traditional pre-race race-outfit photo to add a literal glimmer of Disney sparkle.

#HowToTurn50

We are REALLY TIRED of the Disney parks’ jazz-hands-oppressive anti-choreography-on-the-rides policies so we left the parks and came back to our room to chill

Also because I need to conserve my 50-year-old resources and turn in early so I can win the half marathon before the sun comes up tomorrow. But still.

Representin’ at the elevator that didn’t pass inspectin'

Me, whatever’s going with my hair, my delightful travel and running companion Erik, and a massive geodesic polyhedron shimmering in a spectrum of iridescence

Vinyl Finery is more than just a super-classy drag name

Oh, nothing. Just having après-run le déjeuner alfresco IN ACTUAL PARIS.

What are you up to?

I’m getting this selfie out of the way before my hair awakes from hibernation and betrays the sacredness of Disney and looks like Bart Simpson

Goodbye, Mickey 5K costume!

It’s been fun, but even in the 5:00 am Florida coolness, it’s also been hot. There’s a very good reason I never run in hats and long sleeves unless it’s below 50°: I’m a furnace.

Also: Hello, plastic box of morning and night bipolar meds that I just noticed are on the counter in front of me in my selfie! You make me a wiggly furnace.

Also: Our route this look morning looks like a laughing Muppet. Or a melting toilet with a plunger left in it:

Ladies and gentlemen, mouses and mouseses, goofs and goofeses, ERIK IS NOW A DISNEY MEDALIST!

(And the crowd goes wild woooo woooo woooo!)

TOTALLY unplanned, but we realized once we got to our starting corral that we both look exactly like random Disney characters.

And we’re off!

I hadn’t thought about the fact that I’d be poking safety pins through the front of my expensive new Mickey shirt for tomorrow’s race, but COSTUME PRIORITIES

So my bib is all pinned and my running trousseau is all assembled and laid out so it won’t get forgotten in the morning—WHICH STARTS AT 3:45 WHEN THE ALARM GOES OFF SO WHY AM I STILL UP BLOGGING I’LL TELL YOU WHY IT’S BECAUSE I OFTEN MISTAKE POOR CHOICES FOR PRIORITIES—except for the sword, which was given to me as a souvenir steak knife at tonight’s dinner in Cinderella’s castle and it made a cute accent piece for my running trousseau. GOOD NIGHT.

So our dinner in the restaurant inside Cinderella’s castle was not only delicious,

but we got seated by the windows JUST AS THE FIREWORKS STARTED OUTSIDE (as illustrated by the subtle but magnificently breathtaking puffs of light behind the windows in photographs 2 and 3):

It really was magical ... except there were four princesses working the room, giving us their individual princess spiels in breathy and/or squeaky voices that we absolutely couldn’t hear, and practically demanding we get up and take pictures with them. It was a royally hostile dinner environment (as illustrated by my forced but princely smiles in photographs 4, 5, 6 and 7):

I love to brag, but we just had a photo op with Cinderella before having dinner in her castle AND SHE PERSONALLY WISHED ME A HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY

And someday when Disney has developed the photos, my prints will come.

With no apologies to Walt

There’s a world of laughter,

A world of tears,
An insuf’rable boat ride,
A need for beers.

My hair isn’t being anyone’s friend on this trip.

Except maybe Ursula’s. I highly doubt I’ll be purchasing any commemorative race photos.

Race packet pickup!

I can’t decide which commemorative photo I like best ...

Running Mickey:

Relentless Logos:

or Optimistic Pre-Bought Finisher Shirt Spread Across My Chest For A Selfie In The Bus On The Way Back From The Fitness Expo To The Hotel:

Also: Packet pickup is a universally beloved pre-race tradition where all the racers get together in a huge room and pretend like they’re not all secretly ranking all the guys in order of who has the sexiest calves.