Wandelprobe (noun)

1. A choreographed rehearsal that merges orchestra, vocals and sometimes body microphones for the first time in the production of a musical; 2. A vaguely naughty-sounding German word that though it may initially seem like it, it doesn't really lend itself to clever sexual innuendo and don't even think you're going to come up with the elusive and brilliantly definitive "probe" joke because millions of very talented and clever and profoundly disturbed actors and singers before you have exhausted every last possibility a thousand times over; 3. THE COOLEST REHEARSAL OF EVERY SHOW OF YOUR LIFE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE; 4. I'm wearing my fake-lifeguard shirt today to make all the bikini models hurl themselves prostrate at my sandy, well-tanned feet; 5. That has nothing to do with Wandelprobe but I didn't have any other place to fit it in today.

#SparksOfJoy: A weekly post about something that makes me happy

Grant Wood: Daughters of Revolution (1932): This relentlessly horizontal painting features three dour spinstresses--one holding a teacup in my grandmother's Blue Willow china pattern--standing self-righteously in front of Emanuel Leutz's painting Washington Crossing the Delaware. The local Daughters of the Revolution chapter was furious with Grant Wood for studying the art of stained glass in Germany--the enemy!--soon after World War I as he prepared to create a massive stained-glass window commemorating the soldiers of America’s last six wars. So he painted the DAR spinsptisses standing in front of a cherished Revolutionary War painting depicting a cherished moment in American folklore ... that was painted by a German. It was a brilliant political cartoon encapsulated in a masterful Regionalist painting by Cedar Rapids’ still-celebrated native son.

Sitzprobe (noun):

1. A seated rehearsal that merges orchestra, vocals and body microphones for the first time in the production of a musical; 2. A vaguely naughty-sounding German word that though it may seem so at first doesn't really lend itself to clever sexual innuendo and don't even think you're going to come up with the elusive and brilliantly definitive "probe" joke because millions of very talented and clever and profoundly disturbed actors and singers before you have exhausted every last possibility a thousand times over; 3. THE COOLEST REHEARSAL OF EVERY SHOW OF YOUR LIFE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE; 4. I'm wearing my sporty-cool-electric-lemon-boogaloo hoodie today; 5. That has nothing to do with Sitzprobe but I didn't have any other place to fit it in today; 6. CHECK OUT THE NEON STRIPPER ON THE WALL BEHIND US OUR SET IS SO FREAKING COOL!

Der Schrei der Natur

Sitzprobe (noun)

1. A seated rehearsal that merges orchestra, vocals and body microphones for the first time in the production of a musical; 2. A vaguely naughty-sounding German word that though it may seem so at first reading doesn't really lend itself to clever sexual innuendo and don't even think you're going to come up with the elusive and brilliantly definitive "probe" joke because millions of very talented and clever and profoundly disturbed actors and singers before you have exhausted every last possibility a thousand times over; 3. THE COOLEST REHEARSAL OF EVERY SHOW OF YOUR LIFE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE; 4. I'm sportin’ my emergency new merlot-at-twilight-hued hoodie I just bought at Target because it’s damn cold today and I proudly but stupidly wore just my flimsy new Disney race shirt when I left the house this morning; 5. That has nothing to do with Sitzprobe but I didn't have any other place to fit it in today; 5. WE HAVE SUPER-NEW, SUPER-TECHY, SUPER-COOL, SUPER-LIGHTWEIGHT, SUPER-SLENDER, SUPER-SUPER NEW BODY MICS; 6. It’s too bad Andrew is always so boring and plain-looking:

Wandelprobe is over—and without a single inappropriate giggle from anyone who said it out loud. So we count that as a win.

Oh—and our orchestra is freaking AWESOME. This show is an absolute vocal-gymnastics pleasure to sing, especially now that we’ve finally layered in our small army of instrumentalists.

And thanks to the geographic witchcraftery of the theater, I just took a selfie that’s simultaneously in the Tottenham Court tenement AND Henry Higggins’ study at wherever the hell 27-A Wimpole Street is. Life upon the wicked stage is NOT for the logical.

Tomorrow is our billion-hour tech rehearsal. And then the full-time magic begins. Just you wait ...

Wandelprobe isn't just the mysteriously-absent-from-the-movie Von Trapp child

It's THE COOLEST OF ALL REHEARSALS FOR A MUSICAL. At the Wandelprobe, we get to sing ("Wand") for the first time ("del") with the orchestra ("pr") as we move ("ob") about the set ("e"). SEE HOW EASY GERMAN IS?

Anyway, I'm about to sing a lush, gorgeous musical score with a massive chorus and a full orchestra all together for the first time, so I don't have time for your pro-America-isolationist-don't-know-how-to-translate-German-correctly distractions. I'm going to be too busy being loverly.

Lunch in the Amanas!

Pickled cubes of ham! Cottage cheese with chives! Oven-baked steak! Other foods that have funny German names! Old-timey farmey stuff nailed to the walls! Waitresses who call you Dear! Waddling to the car when you’re stuffed!