Oh Deer

 

Meet Oh, the newest member of the low-budget Deer family I am apparently now collecting in the fauna division of my holiday flora (which would be random shapes and sizes of pine trees) and fauna (which would be Oh Deer and his be-antlered brethren Hey, Mo, Fa, Spi, Bor, Won, Shud, Over, Doah, Truthor, Firefi and Fulgencio) collections.

Please try to tear your eyes away from the Kountry Krafts wallpaper border (which is not to be confused with Bor Deer himself, obvi) before they burn in their sockets; it will be gone and the wall will be painted a rich blue just as soon as I decide which rich blue to use. Which won’t happen until after I finish naming Sue, Turpen and all the rest of my Pine family.

Zoom, a deer

So you know how on CSI (if it’s even still on) seven perfectly suspicious suspects just happened to have met up with the murder victim in rapid but orderly succession — without ever accidentally running into each other, of course — right before the victim gets murdered by the last suspect the CSI team is able to find and interview? Well that’s actually not the reason I’m posting this photo; I just wanted to point out the coincidence.

So you know how on CSI (if it’s even still on) an entire crackerjack team of highly-trained-highly-experienced CSI scientists exhaustively combs through every microshred of evidence in a case and just when everyone’s about to give up and go home to get some well-deserved rest the CSI Chief (or whatever the position — and its attendant convivial nickname — is called) just happens to walk by, spot something fascinatingly suspicious in the background of a photo that’s up to that moment been too overlookably blurry to warrant any measurable attention from any of the highly-trained-highly-experienced CSI scientists, ask the lone highly-trained-highly-experienced-but-at-this-point-understandably-beleaguered token-minority CSI scientists to — and I quote — “zoom in and clean it up” — a strategy for which neither the concept nor the technology has existed until that very second (except for when variations on this revelatory plot twist have played out verbatim in every other episode ever) — which suddenly reveals a crystal-clear image of the murder itself, the murderer’s face, the murderer’s telephone number, the murderer’s license plate and the all-important position of the sun reflected in the moistly shimmering pupil of a random passer-by’s eye? Because that’s actually the reason I’m posting this photo; if you can get that token-minority CSI scientist to zoom in and clean it up, you’ll see the three gorgeous, almost regal deer I just tried to photograph in my sister’s yard:

And if you aren’t able to get that token-minority CSI scientist to zoom in and clean it up, please just enjoy this artfully darkened photograph of the dramatic uplighting on my sister’s neighbor’s tree.