Hurry up with your courtship, little flirty birdies!

A big storm’s a-comin’ and you’ll want to be makin’ your own thunder and lightning someplace where you won’t drown.

Dumbass bird flirting in 12 easy steps:

1. Throw selves against window
2. Leave smears of bird snot all over everything
3. Pretend not to see each other
4. Look at each other without getting caught
5. Move closer
6. DON’T GET CAUGHT LOOKING
7. Maybe pretend to be examining the snot or something
8. Move closer
9. Post selfie saying “Feeling cute IDK might rub some more snot all over this window LOL”
10. Move closer
11. Finally get caught looking
12. NOW WHAT? Don’t ask me—I can’t even flirt with a human without somehow embarrassing myself

I got 40 quarters last night to put in my super-masc quarter cup so I have them handy—and pretty—for our the honor-system pop fridge at work.

Also: We use the Chicago Manual of Style at Nordstrom, but I’m a lifelong AP Style guy so I brought in my AP Stylebook to keep it real. CMOS gives me the hives.