That wide, inviting, super-comfy-looking banquette at the far end of Taste of India? DO NOT SIT THERE.

Under the table is essentially a big vinyl-covered mattress with zero option to put your feet on the floor or even bend your legs ... or, in my inflexible case, even get tucked under the table well enough to get anywhere near it.

Five stars for yumminess. Minus 597 stars for having to eat crisscross-creakysauce over my lap and spilling chickpeas all over my ankles.