From scratch

I woke up New Year's Day morning with a bloody gash on my forehead and a dead hooker in my bed. And I have no idea where the gash came from. I must have scratched myself in my sleep. Or gotten in a knife fight during the Oklahoma! dream ballet. The gash is way gorier than it photographs, too. I fact, it barely shows up in a photo. It must be a vampire.

I just made my first apple pie! All by myself! I bought myself a pastry blender and a little serrated latticework roller for Christmas and spent this afternoon rolling out dough and coring apples and figuring out how to interlace the latticework and completely forgetting to add the butter. But the pie turned out pretty delicious so who needs butter? Plus I had extra dough left over so I made little leaves to arrange along the edges in what looked to be little pastry-based marijuana plants once it was all baked. Dude. I totally just said baked.