Wednesday, November 30, 2005

SOBA Alert

I'm back from London. Sorry for the stretch of quiet since my last post; I was exposed to Sudden Onset British Accent while I was there and I've been in quarantine since I got back.

A little-understood—but heartbreakingly familiar—affliction, SOBA can strike at any moment, leaving its victims and their traveling companions trapped in a nightmare of incorrectly lengthened vowels and revoltingly fey articulated consonants.

Even worse, it can transform an ordinary (in the most pejorative sense of the word) American into an insufferable boob.

Fortunately, there IS a cure. But if you get caught punching the living shit out of a freaky little queen just because he started talking extra-funny, you might end up in the hoosegow. Which can totally ruin your vacation.

Anyway, I survived quarantine, and they didn’t find any SOBA antibodies in my system, so I guess I’m clean. Now I’m going to grab my bumbershoot and catch the lift down to the Tube.


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